BLOG . . . Share your thoughts. . .
|
Patti Mays: Posted on Sunday, February 12, 2012 12:51 PM
OK here's something you did not know about me... and this is an important part of my background which I'm sure you're all dying to know...
I used to play the accordion! Yep - eat yer hearts
out. Red "mother-of-pearl" it was and I hated the sumbitch from the minute I
started playing it. But my parents made me keep taking lessons b/c it
was expensive. And to add insult to injury - I had to carry that dang thing in its ugly, gigundo CASE and
walk - that's W-A-L-K to my lesson which was 8 blocks away.
I was especially beautiful at that time. I was in the 6th grade - - 5'8" and weighed
about 52 lbs. My legs looked just like two strings hanging from my skirt and I was blind as a bat - wore snake-eye glasses that were the same color as my
accordion (red mother-of-pearl). NEAT-O! But nobody had the "opportunity" to see my beautiful glasses on account of my Brillo-Pad hair which was so curly and bushy it
covered 'em up. . .
About every block I would sit down and rest on that
huge accordion (the case was the color of old wingtip shoes... pale brown. Uglier 'n mud fence and I'm not kidding). I had to sit down on it so I could catch my breath. While I was sitting there sweating I would look around at whatever people were around.
Believe it or not people
would actually LAUGH at me. It's 'cause it was Caldwell Idaho and people there didn't have much appreciation for the finer things in life . . . they didn't recognize an accordion star in the making even though I was sitting smack on their sidewalk in front of their house. My legs were so skinny and long that people probably thought I was a giant preying mantis. . .
Anyway - sometimes I just think back. . . If I'd stuck with it I could
have been famous. I could have played in the annual Idaho Snake River Stampede during opening ceremonies where they come out with horses and carry all the flags. I could have ridden in a flat bed truck while they drove me slowly around the arena in my glittery-sequined formal. I think I would have played...
"Lady of Spain".
And just think!! When everybody roared and cheered I would bow and
wink. . . well, maybe just smile and wink. It's hard to bow when you're
wearing an accordion. Your boobs get caught. . .
The point to all this? Um.... there isn't one. Just saying....
YESSIREE, BOB!! MATCHED MY GLASSES
Both red mother-of-pearl.
|
|